April 10, 2019 (Poem)

April 10, 2019

by Phoenix Monea

Instagram : authentically_beyoutiful

Turn the page

Living day to day

Check to check

Barely getting by

Barely aware

Barely alive 

Turn the page

Days of a daze that seems never ending

Am I going left or right up or down

Turn the page

The dreams I have while my soul is at rest

Does not match up to the reality 

When my eyes are open

I feel helpless, hopeless

Lost and confused

I’m trying to stand in truth

Live in purpose 

But I am stuck in a wage that does not satisfy the soul 

Nourish the heart or elevate my spirit

Clock in, clock out 

Sleep, repeat 

Clock in clock out

Sleep, repeat

Turn the page

Another year of maybe one day

Another year of “I can’t right now”

Another year of “I’ll live tomorrow”

Living in the shadows of my shadows 

Letting my dreams become just that, a dream

So, I turn the page, and turn the page

Regret and rage, I turn the page 

And, f&@$ it!!

What’s the point? I give up!

I didn’t even try, but the thought alone makes me want to give up.

Throw the whole day away. Burn the book, f@$! the page

This. Is. Life. 

Clock in, clock out repeat. No sleep. Scraping by. 

Clock in, clock out. Cry it out, repeat.

Pain in my eyes, heart in my soul. 

I’m leaving this earth with my story untold. 

But, as I’m ready to let go, I look up and see a new day.

What a blessing is this new day!!

I pace and I pace making sense of it all.

I look into my daughters eyes 

And see something I have never seen before.

Hope. Courage. Strength. 

I pick up the book.

Most of the pages are worn. unrecognizable.

But there are still some blank pages left.

So I turn the page and I fill it with hope

Turn the page and I fill it with truth 

Fill the next with peace 

The next with love the next with purpose

No longer clocking in for a check.

But clocking into purpose.

Turn the page and just like that, my story is told.

And what a beautiful one it is.